Thursday, 13 June 2013

HP Friday: Voldy's gone mouldy

Well. Here we are, then.  Can’t say I’m happy about it.


I started out writing all kinds of notes for this section, and then I got to page 552.

After that, I was reading too quickly and crying too noisily to make any manner of observation (To be fair, the notes I made up to that point were just variations on “This is killing me.”)

Aaah, Percy and Fred are shaking haaaands!

Let’s start with Neville, because Neville is always a good time. For example, what does he do in his first scene of the book? He helps Hermione through the portrait hole like a goddamned gentleman. Also, dude is a hard motherfucker, talking about the Carrows like it’s nothing, walking along all nonchalant while bleeding profusely from the facial region.

Also? Luna. Luna answers that Ravenclaw riddle like a boss, and only after giving Harry a chance to reason it out, if he wanted to. It makes me sad that JK said Luna and Neville don’t end up together. Though I’m sure Hannah Abbott is a perfectly nice person.

Side note: If Harry had gone with Cho to the Ravenclaw common room, and if Cho made a move (she totally would have made a move), would Harry have gone for it?

You know things are bad in this book because the good guys are tossing around Unforgivable Curses like Hermione tosses around freedom hats. Harry Imperio-ed that goblin at Gringotts, and then Crucios a Carrow, and then McGonagall goes and Imperios said Carrow minutes after! Doesn’t take a second to tell Harry off. “Gallant,” she calls it.

Except she totally does.

I’m really worried about the kids in Slytherin who aren’t Death Eaters or Death Eater admirers.

I am so going to miss remarking on the silliness of common English phrases. McGonagall says of Snape, “He has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk.” (Though calling a two dollar coin a “Toonie” is clearly the height of sophistication.)

Ron remembers the House Elves during the Battle of Hogwarts and forever secures a place in Hermione’s pants.

Oh yeah, it turns out, in my blind Alan Rickman enthusiasm, I overestimated Snape’s Sectumsempra aiming skills. Whatever, we love him still. Always, in fact.

Dumbledore tried to use the resurrection stone. Who do we think he was trying to bring back? Ariana?

Alright, Voldemort’s death. Underwhelming, right? But is there a way she could have written it that wouldn’t have been? I did like Harry’s monologing. And it’s good that Harry didn’t have to rip his newly bleached soul apart by committing a murder (although, that probably wouldn’t have hurt him, right? I mean, it’s Voldemort). And yes, Expelliarmus, it’s kind of a thing. But still, I hardly even know what happened. That’s the problem with death-by-Avada Kedavra: no time for dramatic, satisfying last words. This is why Nagini kills Snape.

And then the epilogue.

With the unfortunate hair.

Also underwhelming, but damn do I not care — I love it anyway. I would be super sad (well, sadder) if it wasn’t there. Baby Harrys and Ginnys? Adorable. Ron’s lighthearted Ron-ness? Fantastic.

"Don't let it worry you. It's me. I'm extremely famous."

I did not get enough Hermione, but I never get enough Hermione, so.

How the hell am I supposed to sign off from this post? I love you guys and I’m heartbroken that we’re done the books but at least we have another opportunity for GIF dumping and internet hugs next week with the wrap up? OK. That.



    I think Dumbledore mentions in that section that he wanted to bring back all his dead family, so Ariana and his mum and dad. But unlike when he was a teen when it was an excuse to gallivant off with Grindelwald, this time it was all about seeing the people he loved.

    I hadn't really thought about Harry's soul - does this mean that McGonagall, the Weasleys etc all have fractured souls now? Because they definitely killed some death eaters.

    1. Oh yeah, he does say that! I forgot. There were a lot of things happening, see.

    2. So much! I had to keep rewinding the audiobook because I'd focus on my work and then suddenly someone would be dead and i'd be like WAHHH--!

  2. "and if Cho made a move (she totally would have made a move), would Harry have gone for it?"


    I mean, I'm totes Harry/Draco at this point, but even with the book, he was all into Ginny and shit.

    ALSO I adore all your gifs/pics. And I never use that word. Also I don't count the epilogue as canon, so Luna can end up with Neville, sure. ALSO, I totally agree about the Unforgivable Curses. What're you all doing? Don't do it all glibly, damnit.

    1. I... think he may have considered the Cho thing. I mean, he's a seventeen year old boy who is under a lot of stress and quite possibly going to die that night, and last time he kissed a girl his best friend walked in and purposefully cockblocked him. So... yeah. Even if he wouldn't have ACTUALLY gone through with it I think he might have been tempted.

      And UGH I forgot to mention the "That's my wand you're holding, Potter" line Draco says in the Room of Requirement. DAMN.

    2. Oh SHIT...I totally didn't even notice that line. That is an important tidbit.

    3. See, yeah, I kind of think it's possible he might have given in for a second and kissed her. But he would have felt all horrible and tortured about it.

      And yes, Alice! Cursing so glibly! What the what?

      Aaaah, Harry/Draco.

  3. "newly bleached soul"

    OMG this just makes it sound like he was a dirty pair of underpants before. Or something. Ew, why did my mind go there.

    Also, I bet Ron was pissed that he could have locked Hermione down in year four if he would have just shown some enthusiasm about SPEW. Hindsight is 20-20, Ron.

    1. Exactly, Harry's soul used to be a ratty old pair of Voldy whities.

  4. I see, then, that you and i are agreed on the ALWAYS point.

    I think that JKR differentiates between killing and murder and that's why people's souls aren't split in cases like that. That's why it was a difference between Draco killing Dumbledore and Snape doing it.

    Those Slytherin kids, right? JKR is still giving them the shaft because they are given no real choice but to leave. Can you imagine how many of them would have had to take up arms against their families if they'd stayed? Way to ask children to pick their loyalties, McGonagall.

    Neville + Luna 4-Ever! I disregard the epilogue. You should, too!

  5. "and if Cho made a move (she totally would have made a move), would Harry have gone for it?"

    Nooooo. One of the great things about Harry is that he doesn't seem the player-type. He is SO over Cho. But I do kind of love that Ginny prevents him from spending any time along with her, because that is totally a move I would've done.

    I was so happy to see the good guys finally using some Unforgivable Curses because dude, sometimes you have to fight fire with flame. It's also nice to see that they aren't all perfect, too.

  6. Ahahahaha, I laughed out loud at the Chuck Norris patronus thing. TRUE FACTS. Neville is such a badass.

    Harry would NOT ABSOLUTELY EVER have made a move on Cho. No way. He is not a jerk and he doesn't like Cho that much.

    I am in the minority of being rather fond of the epilogue. I have grown fonder of it as the years have gone by. It is a suitable way, I think, to end the series -- showing how Harry has made his own family for himself after all the family-shattering evil of the seven books. Plus, I like seeing grown-up Ron still making jokes and yanking Hermione's chain.

  7. OK so I pretty much just started copying and pasting at least 60% of this post into a comment before I realized I needed to stop. So just know I LOVE ALL OF THIS. Neville being awesome, everyone suddenly being cool with the Unforgivable Curses, Luna being wonderful and totally should have paired up with Neville in the epilogue, Ron being Ron-y in the epilogue. Just bravo, madame

  8. "would Harry have gone for it?" Oh my god, NO!!!! It would have been far too soggy!

    "This is why Nagini kills Snape." Yeah, part of that seems awfully convenient because it just happens to give Snape the chance to explain himself BUT then I remember that throughout the last book, Harry's been getting flashed of Voldemort having others do his dirt work for him (e.g. Nagini killing Charity Burbage and Malfoy having to torture people) so it works.

  9. Oh shit- that IS why Nagini kills Snape! Oh man, I was so like 'this death seems cruel and unusual', but DUH Snape has to pass his memories on otherwise how would we know to love him and stuff?

    ALSO- like Alley up there I LOVE THE WHOLE OF THIS POST. Seriously. Oh oh oh oh also NEVILLE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Basically.

  10. "You know things are bad in this book because the good guys are tossing around Unforgivable Curses like Hermione tosses around freedom hats." Ahahaha, I love you.

    I was RATHER impressed that McGonagall didn't scold Harry for using Crucio. It was definitely a sign that times were a'changing.

    I think my thing with Voldemort's death is that he's kind of BEEN dying little by little since Chamber of Secrets? So the actual end of him would naturally be anticlimactic, just because he's hardly even a living thing by that point.

    I CAN'T believe Snape missed with his Sectumsempra and hit George's ear by accident. I can't believe it.

  11. Kayleigh, I didn't see an email address for you here for me to send you the epilogue fanfic. Can you leave it in a comment on my blog, please? thx!


Talk to me, internets.